ask_next_week

The First Doctor

2009-03-30T16:46:12Z

Okay, so I need some suggestions. Having newly acquired healthcare benefits, I want to exploit them. Is there anybody I've left off this list? What are your thoughts?

Everything/Nothing Doctor - General Practice, i.e. Generic Doctor. A potentially unnecessary step, just because I feel like he/she's going to defer all my significant issues to specialists. I take that back - maybe he/she'll prescribe some really strong Vitamin C...

Voice Doctor (Cough Doctor?) - It seems every time the seasons change (or maybe not quite quarterly, but at least annually), I get some variation on a horrible cough and cold sort of thing. This could just be an allergy thing, which would be nice, if I can whoop a bunch of stuff with one single pile of pills...

Snore Doctor (Tonsil Doctor?) - I have snoring problems, which are something I am very motivated to eradicate. I recently found out of someone who once had snoring issues, but they went away upon tonsilectomy/adenoidectomy (is that embarrassing? not sure if naming names is okay with this sort of thing)... I've never had anything "out" so maybe I just need to start having things removed, just to see what gets fixed in the process.

~~Spin~~ Skin Doctor - I sometimes have some issues with acne-related things, and general bad/oily skin. For the most part, I think it's all stuff I can deal with, but there might be some inherited skin trouble that comes along with my theft of my father's face. Just good to talk about it while somebody might be listening.

Brain Doctor - As you may know, I'm a repressor. Represser? I often think I have memory troubles, but that might just be misdirected repression. Like, I'm not _bad_ and remembering things, I'm just _really good_ at tucking them away never to be seen again. So, recently I think maybe I've found the limit of things I can stuff in repression hidey-holes, and it is instead spilling over into reality-brain and it shakes me up quite frighteningly. So, Brain Doctor. I mean, I don't at all mind crying at weddings - but I should have other, more controlled ways to handle my emotions...

Not really a post, just a photo...

2009-03-19T15:35:54Z

It's my new favorite photo of myself:

(actually, I think it was pure luck that I snuck into a photo with the most mind-bogglingly beautiful baby ever.) One of these days I'm determined to get to know Leanne (Abby's sister-in-law) better, but as long as her unbelievably cute and wonderful child is around, I might just have to keep getting to know Gwen better...

And look - she even likes Lost! Love it. Keep up the adorable work, Gwen! :) And Abby, A) you're the best for inviting us to hang out with her, and B) can we do that again?

Shuffle!

2008-12-27T23:34:28Z

So, to preface the rest of what I'm going to say, I need to start by saying "I got an iPod Shuffle!" And that of course is followed up by, "Abby, you're the best :) "

Okay, so it might be a bit of a misnomer, in that I'm not much of a shuffler when it comes to music... Although, I guess it all depends on what I've got on there. I mean, if I put a whole bunch of creepy halloween music on there for a party, it would certainly make sense to shuffle. Or perhaps a carefully crafted list of singles that are great for a roadtrip. Perfect.

But, for example, when I first set it up, I thought to myself, "what's the nerdiest thing I could possibly put on here? A-HA! (no, not A-Ha, although that would indeed be pretty nerdy) I'll put on 'Ender in Exile' by Orson Scott Card, audiobook of the new sequel of the book 'Ender's Game'."

This sort of thing, I've found, is perfect for working out. Montell Jordan - This Is How I Do It.

But you don't often find yourself listening to audiobooks (this one happens to be in 40 minute pieces) on Shuffle. Just kinda takes all the flow and narrative structure out of it.

I expect I'll probably also do a lot of Opera Research with my iPod, which will probably also be a non-shuffle sort of thing...

So, how do you people feel about Shuffle or Random? Discuss.

Abraham, the very Mysterioust Jew

2008-12-05T22:28:14Z

Okay, so I was recently told about a Jewish childrens' song, the first line of which is, "Abraham, the very first Jew."

I've also deduced from This MySpace Video that some of the other lyrics are

God wants to have a talk with you
It's time for you to leave your land
and travel to the promised land
and then Sarah laughed, "Ha Ha Ha,
I can't believe my ears!
Who'd have thought I'd have a child after all these years?"

Okay, so Dr. Lauren was entertaining the notion of recording this song for a holiday CD. Awesome, right? So of all the googling, all I can find is a cellphone video of a girl singing it in a dorm room.

What the F, world?

A YouTube search of "On Top Of Old Smoky" yields 195 hits. And that's YouTube - Google yields "about 120,000". I'm just disillusioned. I want a Sharon, Lois & Bram version of Abraham The Very First Jew, dammit! That way I'll be able to pull the chords out of it and make it a sweet 80's dance remix. Sweet. 80's. Dance Remix.

So, the internet. What else did I find regarding the song, you ask?

This article, specifically about how the lyrics are nowhere on the internet:
http://repetitioncompulsion.blogspot.com/2005/12/words-that-dont-exist-on-internet.html#links

And for some reason, this video came up as another search result... Not sure why it came up, but I like it.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/256330/jewish_is_cool/

That's all I got. If anyone knows the lyrics, or has piano/guitar music for this ditty (Shmuel? are you out there?), let me know. Peace out!

What do you think about?

2008-12-02T05:02:41Z

I'm really curious about this - maybe I'm looking for guidance, or maybe I just need to find a diversion, but:

What do people think about while they're exercising or working out?

It has blown my mind what random shit goes through my head when I'm climbing stairs:
http://ask-next-week.livejournal.com/6181.html
But is seems kinda wasteful, because I don't really have any retention for all that fleeting stuff. Damn, I'm lucky if I have retention for important stuff. Que sera.

So, what do you think about?

ShamelessPluTube

2008-11-24T01:20:39Z

Okay, so here is my periodic reminder to check out the one video "from" my band. It's really just a copy of our cover playing underneath a painstakingly sync'ed original video. Totally worth the effort, though.

And why send the periodic update now? First of all, We just hit 50,000 views, bitches!

Check it out. Tell your friends. Have them send money to me (or Fergie) if they like it. Woot!

The Eiffel Tower.

2008-11-18T06:34:31Z

12/27/2008 (ouch.)
CD's Moved: 40
Flights: 120 (down, then up)
Stairs: 1,680 (down, then up)
Steps (Stairs & Steps): 6,720
Time: 106 minutes
Time per CD: 2 minutes 39 seconds
* So I succeeded in my incremental increase to 40 CD's. That was a determination thing that I'm glad I accomplished, but since it has been painfully too long since I've been on the wagon, it obviously killed my time.
* Now that I've reached the 40 CD mark, though, it's now all about getting my time down. Now this doesn't, however, mean that I'll only work out when I have 90 minutes free. Even doing this for 30 minutes will get my heart going, work up a sweat, and be excellent for me. Bottom line (as I may have mentioned before), I just need to get used to being out of breath, or being sweaty, or what have you - so much so that I simply don't have to anymore when I work out (don't have to sweat or get out of breath).
* My pacing was decent, although slower throughout. I knew it was going to be a tough slog, so I just got started with it, and kept pushing through to the end.

Cumulative
CD's: 150
Flights: 450
Stairs: 6,300
Steps: 25,200

12/1/2008
CD's Moved: 35
Flights: 105 (down, then up)
Stairs: 1470 (down, then up)
Time: 70 minutes
Time per CD: 2 minutes
Thoughts: Strange that the time per CD wasn't worse... It felt quite a lot worse. Everything was fine at the beginning, but I was pretty worn down by the 3rd or 4th set (I go in sets of 5 CD's).
Actually, I was considering only doing 20 CD's. Sound designing has filled every crack of my time for the past week, and it's been chronologically impossible to "make" time for CD's, not to mention those 3 incredible Thanksgiving dinners I had this week plus leftovers. Wreckingball. So, during my 4th set, I was really considering starting over the whole process at 20, and building in increments of 5 again... But then I got to 20, my stubbornness (and I guess perseverence) kicked in, and I continued. And once you've hit 20, shit, you're more than halfway there...
Another thought, is about how freaking hot I'm going to be when this is all said and done. As inspiration, one of these times I'm going to take a picture of my leg, because that is where my body currently hides all of its tone and definition. In my left leg. No joke.
Cargo of Note: No Son of Mine by Genesis (Eric's). CD Single. Doug Levine's Kromatica - interesting because we were just talking about him last night...

Cumulative
CD's: 110
Flights: 330
Stairs: 4620

And for all you data lovers out there, I've been doing some more data collecting!

I was at the Dollar Tree in Robinson Town Centre buying a booklight. That's the kind of thing I feel shouldn't cost more than a dollar, so there I was, buying it for a dollar.
In the same section, I noticed they had a pedometer for a dollar. For some reason, I just couldn't get up the nerve to buy that. It's gotta be some crazy subconscious thing, but I just can't trust a $1 piece of electronics to accurately count my steps. Now maybe that's just silly - didn't McDonald's give them away with Happy Meals for awhile? The technology can't be too complicated, right? Okay, maybe I'll buy one next time. I don't know, though - knowing me, I'll probably wake up one day thinking "I need a pedometer." And then I find myself in The Sharper Image buying a pedometer/radio/phonograph/800G iPod with wireless ear implants for $1,150. Yes folks, that's my style.

Point being, the pedometer got me thinking about how many overall steps I'm taking. So I did some counting:
CD bin to the top of the stairs: 7 steps
Bottom of 3rd stairs to Top of 2nd: 9 steps
Bottom of 2nd stairs to Top of 1st: 21 steps
Bottom of 1st stairs to CD Box: 5 steps.

Wow that's bizarre. That's 42 steps. That's downright creepy. Okay, so each CD is 42 stairs and 42 extrastairricular steps. For data purposes, let's call these all "steps". This step figure also includes both down and up.

CDs: 35
Steps: 5880

Cumulative
Steps: 18,480

-------------------------------------

11/19/2008
CD's Moved: 30
Flights: 90 (down, then up)
Steps: 1260 (down, then up)***
Time: 51 minutes
Time per CD: 1.7 minutes
Thoughts: Feeling good. Got a time, and I'm a little surprised that it takes less than 2 minutes. Not sure why I'm surprised... It seemed like I was sweating less this time. What does that mean? Maybe I just hadn't had much to drink.
I was kinda in a hurry to get finished so I could get to rehearsal, so I started with quite a bit of hustle. The ability to hustle ran out at the beginning of the 3rd set (for counting reasons, I mentally break it down into sets of 5). It all felt just fine, though - never lost my pep.
One thing I'm really anxious for is when I get good at it. I'm anxious for the time when I can hurry up to the "penthouse" area at work and not have to wait for 1-2 minutes to stop being out of breath. Sheesh being massive sucks.
Cargo of Note: Got through the Phish collection and most of the BNL collection today. Odd: The Real McCoy - I Wanna Come (With You) CD Single. Garbage: The Moody Brothers - Cotton-Eyed Joe. Good song, right? Sure, just don't do a bad cover of that song, make it the title of your horrible album to sell copies. It was a waste even in the $2 rack at Camelot Music.

Cumulative
CD's: 75
Flights: 225
Steps: 3150

*** Turns out my previous calculations are only true if each Flight of stairs has 42 steps. Unfortch, each flight only has 14 steps, and it's a CD which has 42 steps. Soon enough, I'll be up to 3150 steps, though... Where were you on that one, math peeps?

-------------------------------------

11/17/2008

CD's Moved: 25
Flights: 75 (down, then up)
Steps: 1050 (not 3150) (down, then up)***
Thoughts: Feeling even better. The cool-down (or rather, the still-out-of-breath-down) was a lot easier and faster. I'm recognizing the great effect on my breathing and breath support. I'm thinking 5 CD's/15 Flights is a good increment to bump up each time. Then I'll just keep getting better and better until I'm sneaking into stadiums like Dr. Jack Shepard & Desmond Hume. I wonder if stadiums have CD collections in their bedrooms which need to be put in their basements...

-------------------------------------

11/15/2008
CD's Moved: 20
Flights: 60 (down, then up)
Steps: 840 (not 2520) (down, then up)***
Thoughts: Well, I was planning to start with about 10 or 12 CD's, but I felt like I could handle more. 20 was a good number, though. Beat me up pretty good.

-------------------------------------

Okay, so I don't write in my LiveJournal very much.

I'd like to start by saying that this journal entry, like perhaps all entries, is about me. Mind you, it's not about my award-winning musical compositions. It's not about sculpture being perhaps my favorite visual art form, or the jaded ambigrams I once designed that were quite well-liked. It has nothing to do with my dabbling in video editing, animation, or SQL programming. It's not about my double-jointedness, my color-blindness, or my dislike of yellow cheese. It's not about my beef roast, my time as a youth softball umpire, or working at Long John Silver's. It ain't about having read War and Peace, going on a bus tour of the West Coast, or winning a trophy for a flute solo which I actually played on the glockenspiel.

Now I know what you're thinking. After all that, how can it still be about me? I'm kinda thinking that myself - note this as a list of LJ entries I'll have to write someday. I am so incredibly awesome I could write about me forever. Awesome. Incredibly. In fact, in comparison, this entry seems kinda silly.

I have recently started a project, and this entry is to record the data and keep track of my status. So, if you're at all interested, bookmark the entry - I'm not making a new one of these every 2 days...

The Project
I'm moving my CD collection.

Purpose
My world needs some exercise. STAT. So, it seems I'm always coming up with hare-brained schemes to do something about this, and this one I really kinda like - and I'm hoping that since I'm writing about it, that'll help it to stick even more.

Details
My CD collection is currently in my bedroom. I don't need my CD collection -- haven't since '96. Yet here I am hanging on to it. Fortunately I was able to pawn off a bunch of them back when I was extra hungry in grad school, but there's still a crate or two full of them.
So here's the idea. I'm moving my CD collection from my 3rd Floor bedroom to the basement. One CD at a time.

So, it's a pretty simple concept. Maybe after I get a bit better at it, I'll start selling tickets so people can come watch. I was also considering having people donate their unwanted CD's so I can take them from my bedroom to my basement. I mean, c'mon, I'm gonna run out of CD's here pretty quickly...

So, I think the idea is to do this every other day. The days between will be to soak in the soreness and for stretching, which is awesome.

Any thoughts ideas or suggestions? Go ahead and tell me - I might even consider them - I'm pretty stubborn, though...

Scariest. Billboard. Ever.

2008-10-06T18:09:24Z

Okay, Highmark. Have a greater hand in my health all you want - but if that means a scary demon shadow coming out of my child's dish of blueberries, I'm calling the Ghostbusters...

Found this at that main traffic light on Bigelow Blvd. Be sure to cover your eyes whenever you drive near it.

ask_next_week @ 2008-09-12T22:31:00

2008-09-13T02:47:26Z

Okay, so I know that I'll probably get bad reviews or perhaps not even get nominated for a LJOscar this year, but I'm just choosing to use this entry to post some great YouTubage.

And no, they're not awesome original videos around a campfire. Those will be next.

* Science: So, I assume everybody has heard about the Large Hadron Collider project that recently was launched at CERN. Wait - no? Well, okay - so it's this particle accelerator. They're apparently recreating the big bang or something. Look it up.

Or, just watch this rap video!

* Religion: Jesus will zap you any way he can. Zap. And no, it's neither a cartoon nor a joke. Weirdass canucks.

* Political Science: If you're not familiar with the concept of RickRoll, you should wiki it. Then you'll better understand the compound idea of a BarackRoll. Finally you'll be able to appreciate the genius of this McCain BarackRoll'ing. Beautiful video work...

I'm not sure why these videos have all entered my life today, but I wanted to share them!

What do you think?

Boring, but potentially Important...

2008-09-11T03:09:55Z

I know, my special readers have already seen this, but it was a worthy bit of writing that I thought I should post up here...

Okay, so I know a number of you use laptops, and I've recently (maybe a smidge because of my new IT job) been thinking a lot about laptop theft.

It sucks. Sad as jail.

So, I want you all to seriously consider the options I'm suggesting, and I'd be happy to help anybody out with implementing them if they'd like.

--------------------------------------------------
Adeona (named after the Roman Goddess of Safe Returns) is a freeware software program that runs on your computer, and regularly reports back and essentially says, "Hi, I'm your laptop and I'm currently being used at 17 Morningwall St." So, if your laptop happens to walk off without parental consent, these messages will allow you (and/or local law enforcement) to track down and recover your investment.

Adeona

I'm going to install it on my laptop to test out the software, so if you want to wait a week or so to get a firsthand review, that's awesome as well. If you like this idea, but are weirded out by OpenSource LinuxNerd kinda software, there are also some commercial products:
LoJack for Laptops
The Cyber Angel

For some biased pros and cons Free vs. Commercial, check out Adeona's FAQ

--------------------------------------------------
A lot of people also recommend getting insurance against theft. I've never dealt with this since I've never really thought of my machines as valuable, since I get them a few years used and tweak them until they do what I need them to. If you're ambitious, talk to your insurance company - I'm sure they'll have some options for you...

--------------------------------------------------
Another resource for stolen laptops is/are Stolen Laptop Registries. I've found 2, but it's hard to say how much these actually help with recovery, since they're an unfortunately passive database. You have to count on your reseller to be legit enough to care whether or not this computer they're selling is hot or not. I give it a 10. Especially at a computer show, flea market, or swap meet (if those still exist).

http://juststolen.net/
http://www.stolencomputers.org/home.html

--------------------------------------------------
So, check yourself before you wreck yourself. Let me know if anyone has any questions or would like any help!

The Dead Code

2008-08-09T19:18:29Z

I have some information that I need to share with the world.

A) There has been a sequel made to the movie WarGames, called "WarGames: The Dead Code". It's straight-to-video release was seemingly timed to line up with the 25th anniversary of the original film, which is a quaint idea indeed...
B) This movie is a toxic horrible volatile dangerous pile of movie-poop.

I know what you're thinking. "What? Sean doesn't like a movie? That's not Sean. Someone must've hacked into his LJ account." Well, folks, it's really me. I really don't like this movie.

I even feel like I gave it a chance - and it really let me down. The jerk.

Why didn't I like it?

* Regarding production value, it's more of a television show that a movie. Maybe that just means my expectations are too high. But I think the point here is: if you can't give the sequel to WarGames it's proper do, then don't effking do it!

* Casting, casting, casting. Okay, so the script your working with has a character called Dr. Stephen Falken. You are left with a simple multiple-choice: A) Hire John Wood. Sure he's 77 now, but he's still acting, and he has aged literally as much as the character has. Of course you tried this option - I'm guessing John even read your script. That's probably why he wasn't in it (that and your budget limiting you from bribery), and for future reference, you can take his word for it - don't make the movie. B) Rewrite. I feel like I'd be less scorned if they had just made him some Falken-follower or something. C) Cancel the project. Really, it's probably for the best.

* It's similar to casting, but it's more something that simply requires someone on your production team to possess a brain. If your script has a character called "Joshua" and he happens to be the same computer with WOPR written on the side. Well, somebody go back to WarGames and take a quick listen to what Joshua's voice should sound like. Please?
Another note on this bullet-point. In WarGames, the voice of Joshua was played by a computer. I WarGames: The Dead Code, the voice of Joshua was played by Colm Feore (yes, of Chronicles of Riddick and The Exorcism of Emily Rose fame). Point being? Save your budget. Computers make better computer voices than people. Ask 1983.

* Sequels, in my opinion (even if they're bad), should add to the world of the movie, and this one just takes away. It just keeps taking away. I guess the only way for the WarGames world to be redeemed is the release of WarGames Zero (thanks Cube franchise!). Basic summary, gov't built a replacement for WOPR, but this one even stronger, and it uses video games to mentally profile (kids who are good at video games = terrorists). Then the computer (named Ripley, if you had to know) decides instead to nuke the US, and we have to convince it not to. So we wake up Joshua WOPR and save the world (yes, by proving once again that you can't win Tic-Tac-Toe).
"Team, it's just not worth the trouble. I've changed my mind, and we're not going to make this movie." says director Stuart Gillard, but it seems his antagonist Ripley has already stripped him of his command.

Uh, yeah - this time around, could we find some poorly aging shlub to play Falken? Thanks. Oh, and if at all possible, could the character NOT have a fun accent anymore? Thanks again.

Young Joshua, meet Old Joshua. I'll admit, it was nice to see the WOPR again. Granted, the guy/girl who blew a bunch of money in 1984 to buy the actual prop probably rents it out for parties to try to recoup the cash... I do assert, though - this ain't no Return of the Daleks.

Here's a look at Ripley, the new baddie (turned goodie? don't ever find out.). I can only guess why they keep her so poorly lit - might just be another budgetary issue. The lower left is how she is seen over the internets. In perhaps the worst script choice ever, Ripley's internet personality has the line, "Good Hunting, Will."

I know I'm being really picky, but that's what this is all about, right? Interlacing differences aside, judging from the question mark, it looks as though Joshua has gotten a new font...

Okay, so in 1983 this was a cool trick with a payphone. Maybe this is just me being skeptical, but I expect that at some point in the last 25 years, the phone company saw WarGames and corrected the problem. I don't buy it in 2008. Maybe we'll have to ask Captain Krunch.

Okay, main point, don't anyone ever watch this movie.

I know this was long and boring, but I'm just getting back into the swing of things...

Don't Do Anything.

2008-05-26T04:20:36Z

Okay, so with my work, it just so happens that I make phone calls. I know what you think, we probably just start at the top of the phonebook and proceed, right? No, not quite. Actually we only call people who ask us to in the form of an internet request for information (intentionally or otherwise).

So, let's just say that this pile of phone numbers is not infinite (well, it is technically infinite, but at the rate the requests come in, they're not infinite enough for us to get 200-300 dials each day). So what happens is, when we start on the floor, we get our list of "mature leads". That's seriously what they call them.

So, to get to the point (a point?), I have a list of ~150 numbers that I call EVERY DAY. These are all people who:
* are legitimately never home
* are never home, even though it's been a wrong number for 8 months and I have no way to find that out
* see my number on their phone, and ignore the call
* see my number on their phone, and specifically pick up to hang up on me
* answer the phone, ask who it is, then hang up on me

They're all good, nice people, I'm sure. I just wish, and I also intend this as a lesson to you folks out there, they would simply say, "please don't call me anymore." Or even something as elaborate as "This is indeed the person you're trying to reach, and instead of hanging up on you, I'd like to announce that I'd prefer if you didn't call me ever again." I mean, shyt, it's not like they owe me money or nothing. shyt.

And some of these people (about 5 on my list, depending on who's been neglecting their phone bills) have what are called "ringbacks" or "calltones". This is where, when you call them, instead of just ringing like a normal phone, it plays you a little tune. Some of my favorites include "Da Dip" by Freak Nasty and "Soul Bossa Nova" by _______, and I was once almost-offended (since I was in the workplace) by a little tune called "Suck My Dick" by Lil' Kim.

Which brings us to the subject (a subject?) of this blog, a happy little chune called "We Are The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" from the hit animated religiousy show VeggieTales. I personally like it's absurdity and absolute irrevelance to a Jesus. So, providing I know how to embed (wink wink?), here's the happy number now, as performed by the original artist.

And also, I happened upon a cover version of the song, by Relient K (also X-tian undertones, I believe). A pretty happenin' cover, despite the fact that they don't exploit that superfun harmony in the chorus.

So this is my job. Listening to this song every day. Some days even twice, if I keep my nose to the grindstone!

Calling All P's!

2008-05-24T15:22:29Z

What's a P, you ask? How the hell should I know? It's something that my phone woke me up at 10am to do.

Item the First:

So, primarily, someone out there (potentially someone who would read this) knows what a P is, and is probably frustrated with me for missing our 10am Saturday appointment.

Aargh my Memento-ciousness! Okay, so I vividly remember a conversation like:
Me: "Yeah, I would do that."
NotMe: "How about Saturday at 10am?"
Me: "Well sure, as long as you wake me up!"
NotMe: "Awesome."
Me: "I'll even put it in my phone."

So now that I'm remembering it so vividly (vivid for me, at least), maybe if said thing is actually happening, person would also help wake me up and/or remind me about thing.

Item the Second:

Let us think logically about what I would put in my schedule that starts with a P...

* It would never be "practice." I always only use "rehearsal" in my planner. It's not baseball, these things I do. No help there.
* I just did some research, and nowhere else in the entire schedule history (albeit a short one) is there another entry that starts with P. No help there.
* Do I know any people that start with P? Peter? Paul? Petunia? Penobscot? Passama-whattie? No, don't know those people. No help there.
* What else starts with P? Pornography? No, wouldn't be planned (or discussed w/ someone in a scheduling manner). Poultry Shopping? No, I think I have all the chicken I need. Post an LJ Entry? Gosh that would be nice, cuz I just did. I know that's not it, though. Pre-nuptial Agreement? Nope, no plans for that - maybe I should just have everyone I know fill one out, though, just in case. Premature Ejaculation? Just no. But come to think of it, isn't all masturbation a form of premature ejaculation? And I don't just mean in the Catholic sense, but in the bare chronological sense... Great - now it's a post about masturbation...

Item the Third:

I know, I can hear you all screaming into your computers, "What good is having a planner if you're not going to use it right?"

But that gets me thinking - got my phone in April specifically because I would always have my schedule with me at all times. Too often people would ask, "how about September 45th at 17:15?" and I would routinely respond with, "well, I'll have to check my laptop when I get home." Also, I've been very good about being thorough in there.
So maybe, just maybe - it was on purpose. Maybe I started entering it as a joke. Or maybe I started putting it in, and then the continued conversation made it seem not as important, so I stopped short.

What's most frightening is the possibility that I might have put it there thinking "Sure. P. I'll remember what that means." Because if there were ever a moral to any of my stories, it would most certainly be, "No. You will not remember."

Someone recently told me, "you know, you write really really well." Maybe I should add fable-writing to my hobbies...

and yes, that is an artist's rendering of the fable, "The Ass and the Lapdog."

Sir Edgar Continued...

2008-05-23T06:48:05Z

Okay, so we had plans to meet at The Backstage Bar to get dinner before everyone else went to the Eddie show. I parked in the 9th & Penn garage, even though I was only downtown for dinner. I would've parked on the street, if it weren't for the silly futile Pittsburgh Pirates. Hey Sheep! Just wait for a fuckin' Pens game. No one needs the Pirates. Just wait until we're in the World Series. 2095, I think...

So I'm walking down Penn, and, long story short, there's a girl walking parallel to me on the Benedum side of Penn. She reminds me of Katie Palumbo, an accompanist friend of mine, so I'm probably-not-so-conspicuously "appreciating her walk".

"WALK" signs being how they are, she and I wind up at the same corner, both heading towards the Backstage Bar. I find she is not Katie my acquaintance, but merely a similarly positive young woman. Strange - just a positive energy. This girl's having a good day - just walking determinedly through the city of Pittsburgh. Good for her. Bet she wishes she was meeting her friends at the Backstage Bar...

So, I cut across Katz Plaza, leaving this young woman to her wiles. I soon find the Bar is way too packed to appreciate, so I meet Dave & Erik out front to consider our options, while we wait for Addi & Lauren, who are probably still parking.

As we stand there bitching about life (that's really all we ever do), I see the girl from before coming back up Penn. But now she's with somebody. Then it strikes me, as I see her walking companion's casual suit outfit:

I say to the two guys I'm standing with: "It's fucking Eddie Izzard. Does anyone have anything they need autographed," (because I easily slip into my childhood habit of not using "to be" with the word "need")? The two guys I'm with both shrug and say, "nope."

I wait until just the appropriate instant and say clearly in my most midwestern American accent, "Sir, we love your work!"

His response: "Thank you very much."

The tone: "I'm saying more than you deserve. I've got places to be and you're probably drawing attention to me."

Who cares about the tone, though? I just freaking talked to Eddie Izzard in the street. Most importantly, he managed a polite response. Score 1 for both of us. I just regret using the word "we" and not the word "I". Why should I include the noncommittal shlubs I'm standing with when they've already shrugged their acknowledgement? I should've had my phone out for a sweetass photo op. No such luck/speed, though. I even had some tingly goin' on in my legs and whatnot. He's a big deal. He was awesome in Prince Caspian.

Kinda beat-up, though. It won't ever effect my view of his work, but the poor little guy's aging... Kinda like tanned leather. I'm sure the stage make-up helps, though...

Overall, I think it will give me a pleasant little memory whenever I see him on screen in the future. "I talked to him on Penn Ave. in Downtown Pgh." because I think in abbreviations. It's faster.

He wasn't wearing his formal funeral wear, but nice enough...

I think I may have gotten my first spam text today... Weirdassest text ever. Here's how it went:

Subject: NOTICE
Your EPPICard online service is
expired,to update login at
www.eppicardrenew.com

What the hell do you do with something like this? Call Sprint? I'm just thinking maybe if I ignore it it'll go away. Hey - now it's documented! :-) And another significant question, what the hell's an EPPICard? If I were more of a sucker (and trust me, I'm born every minute), I'd go to the website to find out. But, they probably have so much "As Seen On TV" garbage that my Check Card would bounce itself from it's slot in my wallet. Oh, susceptibility...

A new song I've heard on the radio as of late... A band I just described to Addi as "Linkin Park meets Cake". It's got it's pro's and con's...

http://www.last.fm/music/Flobots/_/Handlebars

And in a most bizarre PS, my friend Katie (the aforementioned accompanist) recently changed her MySpace song to this very song... Enjoy!

Sir Edgar

2008-05-22T04:04:37Z

I talked to Eddie Izzard on the street today.

Stocky vs. Stalky

2008-05-21T02:54:58Z

There is a part of me that is grateful that Addi got me into LiveJournal… It’s a nice place for people to ramble. And now that I know a bunch of people on here, it’s almost like someone might read the nonsense I write…

In finding new people, I’m always intrigued by the prolific past of some people’s journals… And realizing how much time I could spend just wandering about reading things. Just poring over the opinion-based history of an individual’s life – it can take a chunk of my own. Maybe I’ll just start blogging in book review format, using whomever’s blog I’m reading as my subject matter…

Another thing that occurs to me (and this is just an observation, not intending to be an admission of any sort) – MySpace gets a lot of guff about being stalker field days. And in my own use of MySpace, I am confident that I’m not a stalker. A curiously voyeuristic sort occasionally, but certainly not a stalker. Reading a LiveJournal, however, gives me the exact opposite feeling. I always feel as though I’ve stumbled upon a diary with the lock busted off… I have to keep reminding myself, “these things are intended to be read.” I certainly intend for mine to be read – and I hope I stay open-minded about the fact that it actually is.

So, cheers to technology, for turning me into a stalker.

See-saw Turlets?

2008-05-17T16:39:09Z

The church within earshot of my bed is playing Ave Maria. That must mean it's 12:06pm. Now it's playing something I don't recognize - maybe I should go to church more often. Church bells have become too complicated. This ave maria was all strict time with 3 part accompaniment. The church might not know this, but real bells aren't like that. Okay, maybe the public prefers irrealism in the noontime interlude, but it takes me out of the churchbell mood. On top of that, I'm not impressed that they have a MIDI of Ave Maria, and that they have it set up to some motherfreckling huge speakers. Any church can do that. Perhaps like ringtone technology, churchbells with evolve into real audio ringers. Maybe like a big recording of "Hey this is Billy Graham! It's noon!"

Come to think of it, I think I just came up with my favorite ringtone idea ever.

I haven't blogged (or bloffed, as I first just typed) in a long time. I was thinking about that in the work restroom yesterday, and I think it kinda relates to how I'm a bad student. I was having fun with it, taking it at whatever pace felt appropriate. Then I got busy, at the same point setting myself up with a blog project that required hearty extra effort. Did I subconsciously scare myself away from LJ? Or LJS, even? Who knows?

Another possibility, which just occurred to me... I stopped blogging when I shaved my head. I returned to blogging after the 2nd opera closed. Maybe it's as simple as: I don't blog during operas. Maybe that's more sensible of me anyway. Sensible is for schmucks, though - I'll just keep being youthful and spontaneous (or as you would say in a holierthanthou tone of judgement, Addi, stupid and idiotic).

Now to get to the inspiration for this entry, the work restroom. As I was telling Charlie (a coworker) yesterday on one of our many illustrious breaks, I like being in a full-time job because it tends to make me more "regular." Just as often as our work-sanctioned breaks, I find myself taking personally sanctioned extra breaks, just to get away from my desk and do a little processing of food waste.

Our restroom is pretty typical, I'd say. On the one wall you've got 3 sinks, 2 urinals, and on the other, 3 stalls (1 handicapped). I'm not a professional plumber, which is publically known, but I like to think I can sometimes use logic to figure out why something was done a certain way. So, I can imagine how much drainpiping you can save if you attach the toilet plumbing - directly to the analogous toilet's plumbing on the other side of the wall (in the ladiesroom). The end result is that everytime you sit down it's a sort of competition. It's like guess-your-weight technology with gloryhole technology combined.

The See-saw Toilet.

Okay, so it doesn't move a lot. Probably only a quarter to a half of a centimeter. But when you're sitting on it (and I have a tendency to put all my weight into the toilet during my use), you distinkly notice when it shifts. For example, you can always feel a slight bump when a woman gets on or off the toilet - and it's safe to assume they are just as aware of the mechanical give and take.

I think the most rewarding part, as horrible as it is, is that now I know there are women in my office that are heavier than I am.

I measured.

Is it PhotoJournal time yet?

2008-03-30T14:26:14Z

(My Serious Look)

The only real way to find out is to start doing it, and see if it happens before I fall asleep...

So, I'll start it here shortly.

In case people haven't heard, I'm an opera singer. I sing for The Pittsburgh Opera. We are currently doing a production of Verdi's Aida. (Not altogether dissimilar from the Elton John musical Aida, which was based on the opera).

For this opera, those of us in the chorus who are Sacerdoti (evil white supremacist priests) were informed that we will be bald. This doesn't necessarily mean that we have to shave our heads. As many of the old whiney bastards in the chorus are happy to mention, "They don't pay me enough to shave my head." That's funny, cause now that I've tried it, I know firsthand - it doesn't cost anything to be bald. So, break it down - they do pay you enough to shave your head. Oh, no, I get it - you'd probably be fired from your job if you shore off your beautiful posthumpmiddleaged combover, and we wouldn't want that. You're just too beautiful; yet somehow terminally insecure about how potentially ugly your hideous head probably is.

So, as is apparent, I chose to shave my head. It was either that or wear a bald cap, which everyone complains about how miserable they are. They're too hot. The glue rots my flesh off my face. Exetra, exetra, exetra.

I'd now like to take you on that journey.

This is where we begin. I keep my hair relatively short, usually trimmed with a 3/8" tool on the trimmer. I wear a full beard, trimmed somewhat regularly, but not at the time of this photojournal.
Where to start? Hmm.

(This is obviously not quite done yet. I'll fill in all the rest of the bullshit later)

Oh My God, I'm So Bald!

2008-03-26T05:44:01Z

I've got the whole photojournal going on, but absolutely no time to post it. "Damn this life and the horse you rode in on it," says my blog to me.

Shiny, huh?

Jorbyjorb

2008-03-19T05:46:35Z

Okay, so now that I've submitted my rezoom, I have been given an official Company Application for Employment.

What the frock is with these things?

Why do I need to copy down every single damn thing that I worked so hard to squeeze into my rezoom, only this time in pen? What a redundant pain in the ass. And if your work history's anything like mine, Addi, you'll understand what a pain in the Arzt it is to write down the details of all those semi-pseudo-hardly related work experiences...

And then we come to the truly saddening and deflating part. "Sign on this line allowing us to review your Credit History."

Kaboom.

And at that point the credit reporting agency says to company, "Sean's credit is literally made of poop. Don't give him a job." And of course, what they should be saying is, "Sean needs this job more than any employee who has ever lived. Please give the job to him so he can start chipping away at some of these abominable debts. tout de suite."

So, everyone be sure to congratulate me on my great new job. Then apologize sympathetically because my financial head is stuck so far into my financial colostomy-bag-hole that I'm not allowed an income. Who needs debtor's prison when we've got lovely concepts like this one?

And who knows... Maybe I'm just being justifiedly paranoid. Maybe I'll be able to get a job. Just let it be known that I won't be surprised when the bad news comes.

Temp for life here I come! Is being a Professional Temp anything like being a Professional Student? Hmm...

I did decide tonight, however, that I kinda like the term "Temp Agent". But that's because in my newly optimistic brain, it's short for Temporal Agent, and I get paid ~$10+ bucks an hour to travel in time. Turns out I can type just as fast in 1974 as I can in 2008!

Explosions in my Life

2008-03-18T06:01:30Z

Okay, so this isn't really intended to be a full blog, I just wanted to throw down a bulleted list of things I intend to soon blog about...

* As all of you reading this know, I've joined a Mix CD Sharing Club. The theme for the month of March was "Cover Songs". I'm in the process of gathering data and reviewing all of the CD's passed around (including my own, despite the obvious bias). Soon that will be up here and you will all be able to enjoy my selfish yet broad ideas about musics.

Explosions:

* I was offered an opportunity at work today to submit my Resume. This basically means I've been short-listed to get a full-time job which (benefits alone) would clearly be better than being a temp agent.

* My cover band was just given a possible engagement that is so massive, I'm thinking if it actually happens we will be somewhere between A and B:
A) We suddenly gain huge underground success, maybe even a form of internet phenomenonery, and at the very least get lots of people looking for us to play around Pixburgh.
B) Due to the fame of our television hit, we gather a bohweemith following and the fleeing masses of our public force us to produce an album (much like "I'll Be There For You" did for The Rembrandts) which will then become a novelty hit known in the dark nerdy corners of every highschool in the country. Technically, I'm thinking Richard Cheese status...

* My singing colleagues tell me I should prepare to start auditioning for Young Artist Programs in the Fall. This would entail perfecting some audition pieces, getting a decent headshot, producing some recordings, and prettying up my vocal resume... No big deal, right?

Okay, well, it's time to go finalize my "business" resume so I can land a job and be awesomeness.

* Oh, by the way. I've already told you this, but I've decided/committed to shave my head for Aida. I already have to shave my face - might as well go whole-hog...

Goodbye moustache, goodbye world.

Don't be a grump.

2008-03-13T06:07:36Z

Though typically a thought I have towards my coworkers who have chosen a pessimistic route for the moment, this thought is currently aimed at you, Addi. This is because you were grumpy about my blogging regularity.

Well, I told you I'm a busy person...

Most nights, I'm too busy quitting my church job and/or sampling dna to be blogging.

Maybe if all these operas let up a bit I'll be back at it more offfen.

No pictures. Firefox 3 beta 4's bein a dick.

C4N

The Art of Hating One's Job

2008-03-05T06:40:13Z

Actually, I happen to like my job. Ask me again, however, in a month. "This is Sean with South University Online," might have just become a boring thing to say four hundred and ninety-shoe times a day.

And after doing the merest touch of research, I'm proud to say we had a Gene Hackman lookalike to speak at our 2007 commencement:

Oh Gene Hackman, why couldn't we get the real you to speak at our Business School's big event? I'm sure you've learned a lot of important information about business from your work "in the business." And not only business, but also Nursing. And Healthcare Administration. And plenty of other degree programs we offer. What the hell, Gene? Don't F around with us in 2008, or it'll be your Last Chance.

Work was decent today. I've found something I never expected, and something I had forgotten exists: pleasant people that are generally enjoyable to work with.

Ooh - a funny interchange (paraphrased, but best as I can remember)
Toothless Idiot Answering Phone: This is nine timeszhyall called this number.
Yours Truly: Oh my, I'm sorry for the trouble.
T.I.A.P: And I want you to make this the last time.
Y.T: I certainly will. Thanks for your time!

Oh wait - that wasn't funny, because it was about work. That's what people with jobs don't realize. I'm gonna do what I can not to get too engrossed in the things about my job that seem to be funny while I'm at work. It's like writing comedy when you're drunk/high. You always forget why it seemed so funny afterwards... Don't get me wrong, though - I'm also keenly aware of the looming possibility that my job will be the only thing I will have to talk about... I mean, look at my last 3 posts... Well, once some of my evenings open up, I'll be doing more fun things and I'll have more interesting stuff to blog about.

Which reminds me, Addi... As an add-on to your post "Dozen featured in MSN: The Country's Best Cupcakes", I thought it was peculiar - and perhaps you'll agree - that the info and quotes about Dozen was immediately followed by a "Ginger Babycake," which take pride in it's Fresh Fruit... What a small world.

Also, to continue abusing my love of GoogleStreetView, and to continue a conversation from brunch, I got an image of a terrific example of window curtain symbolism...

I'll have to find out what this means... I think it might just be 'the other option'...

Alright, I'm going to bed. Goodnight already. Douchebag.

Working Class Hero

2008-03-04T06:59:21Z

I know, everyone's proud of me for getting a job.

So this is my workplace. You've driven past it 12,422 times (at least that's what GoogleMaps tells me about you). Take my word for it, it doesn't look much more exciting on the inside. It's not like one of those nondescript buildings that just happens to house a 40 Screen Movie Theatre! or a 80 Lane Bowling Alley! or a 7 Acre Kitten Furring Factory! No, it's more like one of those buildings where you go in to find a bunch of offices and cubicles and chairs.

I'm doing phone work. You may have guessed, but such a thing wasn't my first choice. And I have to admit, after one day... This is shit-easy work. In fact, I sometimes have shits that are considerably more difficult than this work. For the most part, my days will consist of 7 hours (minus the 2 10 minute paid breaks) of listening to people's phones ringing, then hanging up when their voicemail kicks in, because we're not interested in leaving messages. Oddly enough, it seems to make the time pass pretty quickly.

Today the most complicated part was dialing the phone. And that will be eliminated tomorrow - the computers will be set up, and they will do all the dialing (dialling?) for us. Most importantly, Entropy let me take a short lunch so that I could get to Aida rehearsal on time, saving me no money loss today. Hooray! Unfortunately, he's offered to let us stay until 8 tomorrow, and since I have Aida again at 7, that doesn't work for me. Hope I don't miss out on too many of those...

Speaking of Entropy (which I've decided to call my managupervisor), he is the most wonderful guy alive. He's just great. If you remember early UCB, he's the Matt Walsh character who continually asks the Amy Poehler character, "Are you having fun? Fun? Fun?" Fortunately, we've not yet gone crazy, so we're humoring his adorable attitude. Whenever we are successful in our calling, it's called a "transfer", and the entire room celebrates for each employee's 1st transfer of the day. It's adorable. Or when Entropy stands up at 4pm and announces, "Hey everybody! We're got 5,000 dials already today! That's Awesome!!! <insert sound of entire room celebrating>" Adorable.

At this point, though, I think the ease of the job will help to keep it tolerable. Getting paid will help too. I just have to keep mine eye'n on the prizen.

Alright Addi. The laundry's done, and now it's time to noodle a little bit on potential Bait & Switch Tchunes and hit the sacks.

C4N

S.G.D.
South University Online
Warm Call Transfer Center Operator
Pittsburgh Opera
Chorister

Narcolepsy these days...

2008-03-01T04:33:14Z

Okay Addi, so I'm probably not a Narcoloop. Or probably I am. The one thing I know for sure is: the more you tell me I'm not a Narcoleaper, the more I choose that I am.

That's it. From here on out, I choose to be inflicted with the horrible disease of Narcolepsy. Everyone should take pity on me, and celebrate my weaknesses (as I sleep at those people).

So I'm getting back into GrammarMan. Bot gave me some notes about my music choice for the trailer, and I can tell from the YouTube that he's waiting for me to rework it before he uploads...

We were talking about shooting the OMG trailer for this weekend, but it looks as though people's schedules are a little cloudier than preferred for such an important project. Gotta save that one for just the right time... That of course means that this week's trailer is up in the air, but I'm sure they'll come up with something good.

I'm nervous, because I got a job. That's going to make it hard to binge-edit... I'll have to talk to the HustlePeeps about how it'll probably effect my accessibility...

Yeah, I got a job. The guy to whom I owe $1,000,000,000 said in an e-mail today, "you need to get a job." So I made a phone call, and now I have a job.

I will be temping at a company called EDMC. Although the agency called it "Customer Service", I think what they meant was "telemarketing." There are perks, though. At least it's in the Strip District. That's close... The pay's good enough, hopefully. It's primarily important that I be making money. This is the bad part that I have to suffer through on my way to my dreams. Oh, speaking of dreams...

My dreams.
I have decided what I'm going to do with my life. I am going to become a famous singer. Classically trained, I will probably make my mark in the Opera world or in the more general world of Classical Music. I have been told by enough professional musicians to do just this, and that's a good part of why I have chosen this. In a lot of aspects of my life, I really need to be goaded into making such decisions - really convinced that I'm good enough. Fortunately, though, I've gotten just enough support, and gained just enough conceit that I'm ready to be confident in this decision. Decision 2008, if you will.

On Sunday, February 17th, I had a breakdown. I'll spare you the details, since you were there for them, but, here's the jist:
I can't be wasting my time doing things that don't benefit me.

Fortune just that one time smiled, and said breakdown coincided directly with a meeting I had with a good friend, in fact, let's call her my Mentor (even though she doesn't know that she is). It occurred to me that with perseverance and focus and practice, such a thing is achievable.

So, there are a few basic steps I am to achieve before I am a famous singer:
* Take care of shit in Pittsburgh (mostly financial, but also that pesky MM Degree)
* Get the hell out of Dodge
* Study music with Reputable Teacher perhaps at Reputable School Or University
* Get mad jobs
* Become famous

The most important part of this process was realizing it had to start. It has now started. I'm on fire. I have a passion. Everything I do focuses on this goal, and it needs to until the goal is reached. And Addi, as my life coach, I officially allow you to beat the shit out of me when I get dizzy and lose direction. I don't require it of you, I merely allow it. (and when I say Addi, I mean "you who reads my blog")

Okay, well you're at my house, so I'm going to go whatnot...